This is the title on the cover of my new journal. It's from one of my favorite story book characters--and one of my favorite sayings...Even though I just got this journal a couple of months ago, I came across the actual feeling of "busy doing nothing" a couple of years ago. It was during a year of a big unknown. We're military, so yes this "unkown" had to do with whether we were moving or not...But this particular time if felt bigger than usual. One, because it was from September through March that we didn't know one way or the other--probably the longest we've ever been in limbo. And two, we had only been here for a year and I felt like we had just gotten to our new beloved village and living experience. And three, because my husband's job was "supposed" to be a three-year contract- not a two year. So it felt like a disappointment on top of the uncertainty...
There were so many plans I had for my growing, real village of women and momma's; so many plans for the kids just beginning to adjust to the German school system; and so many, many places to discover and explore given our geographic location in Europe. So what was I to do?? Was I to be anxious every day about leaving or was I to do my best living in the moment and absorbing everything that I did have in the opportunity to live we were??
Well as it turned out--I didn't really know what to do. So---after I'd drop the kids off at school, there were many mornings that I just decided to sit. I'd sit with some jazz tunes going, with my coffee, with a good-reflective book or my journal. And on really special mornings- the sun would come through my window and would hit the edges of crystal we have hanging- and there'd be rainbows dancing throughout the table I was sitting at, and all through the room. And I could breath and sigh, and feel thankful...
I realized, I need times like this because my soul really just needed a chance to be still. I felt so torn to leave, that my heart needed space to just find a way to trust the unknown. And when I would just lean into that sitting--that "doing nothing", my mind would actually get "busy"! And not in a frantic sort of way--but in a way that my mind could think of creative things to do with the time I knew we did have here. I had more clarity of what my purpose with this time could be. I would start to feel hopeful that even if we left a year earlier than expected, I still had the time to appreciate the opportunity of living in such a place. I started to make plans to form deeper relationships with women in my village. My faith increased, and I set out to be healthy in mind, body and spirit. I knew that the best way for me to handle the underlying uncertainty, was to make sure I was as grounded as possible- and so that it was I did.
I became intentional about sticking to a personal routine, developing family connection and took steps to reach out to community on several levels. And so, that is how it happened that I truly did become "busy doing nothing..." And then--what do you know?! At the end of this year of waiting, that summer- the latest Winnie the Pooh movie came out with this theme song "busy doing nothing"; and then a year later, I came across this journal! Love, just love!
And this is what I do...when I have whirlwind feelings of "needing to be doing something" that I intentional make time for "busy doing nothing." There can nudges (often quite strong ones) to be "productive" and to physically be accomplishing something, but I Iearned that year that SO MUCH can happen when I sit, am still, and do "nothing..." Are you at a place in your life where you wish you could sit and do nothing also?? Are there feelings of "guilt" or however you want to label it, that are preventing you from taking this time? Or are you just too crazed to even figure out how to make space for another kind of "busy"? I can help you figure this out and get to a calmer, more contented place...wholefullyou@gmail.com