"Hurry up and wait"...Sigh...
Yes, this a saying that many of us in the military know all too well. It usually applies to that part of life when we are getting ready to PCS (permanent change of station) to somewhere new. We have alllll these documents and lists, and sorting, and organizing to do. And we get into a craze trying to get it all done in time. And then---and then, we have to wait for more paperwork to finish, or we have to wait to actually move, and wait to get “settled”…again…And it can really feel like we’re in a time warp of sorts. It can create a sort of anxiety and a feeling of discomfort that can be really hard to sit with.
And I’ve realized that the same thing can often apply to many other “normal” parts of life too…Hurry up and get dinner going and then—wait for the food to be done—wait for the family to come to the table…Hurry up and get that job application in and then wait to hear back…Hurry up and figure out your life purpose and then wait to figure out HOW to actually move forward…Hurry up and have kids and then wait for them to get old enough to “really do something…”
Truly, truly, what is a woman to do these days?? When there is so much rush, rush to make parts of life “happen”, to “be productive” and then dealing with that nagging feeling of waiting, feeling like there is more “to do”? See isn’t that the catch-22 when we’re supposed to be responsible for so much (I won’t list it here- I’m sure you have your own list anyway! :P) but then at the same time, we’re supposed to be able to handle the waiting times too?? How many of us have been consciously or unconsciously trained to do, do, do—but then when we can’t anymore because we’re too worn out or life makes us stop/slow down—we have NO idea how to handle it?!
Does this resonate with you? For me, it’s been these times when I eat when I’m not hungry, or just spend time-too much time on Facebook or watching TV. My sense of creativity and optimism goes out the window and I become grouchy or irritable. How about you? What do you do when this discomfort hits? Do you have strategies to be okay when you are “waiting for something” and just don’t feel yourself?
I know it took me some time to get through this “gunk” and I really learned a lot during my season of “not knowing” and “waiting to know” a couple of years ago. I wrote about it in my last blog. For me, it was both learning to feel okay with not "doing"- to become comfortable with being uncomfortable- and it was learning some strategies/things I could do that made me feel more "me" even during the struggle. If you’re feeling like you could use some ideas to help with your “waiting” times or wanting to stay more consistent with what makes you, “you” during the challenges, please reach out to me. I bet I have an idea or two that could help! :) firstname.lastname@example.org