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  • Clara Mei

Perfection or being open to possibilities, what do you chose?


When I saw this, my immediate feeling was "YES"! What comes to mind when you read this? "Happiness doesn't come from perfection, it comes from having the courage to be yourself." Do you agree with this statement? Does the idea of letting go of perfection make you squirm? Does the word "courage" also make you feel weird? Or does the idea of letting go of perfection give you a sigh of relief? And does the idea of being yourself make you feel alive?


Or maybe you're feeling somewhat in the middle...Maybe you want to have more happiness and more courage, but when you think about making the changes, you suddenly feel uncomfortable so you instinctively fall back to what's comfortable-- and for many of us that is a feeling of striving for perfection...


The notion of "perfection" I think sounds like a nice and tidy package right? I mean who doesn't want to have things or life stuff just fitting in without the mess?! Raising hand here! And eye-roll too! But man--"being my myself"--now, that also sounds reallllly good! Like I can just sink into myself and NOT try.so.darn.hard to be someone or do something that just.takes.so.much.work. Now that--that sounds like a REAL vacation. Being more me feels like a great day at the beach. The waves can come and go and I can just observe it all. (Note: this image is without children!) My feet can sink into the warm sand, the sun can warm my face and body, and the gentle breeze and sound of the waves can calm my anxious mind...Oh man this image is sounding just delightful as I'm sitting her trying to get through yet another cloudy, chilly, and rainy German winter day...


Sooooo how can we get to a place of being ourselves...I have pondered this in my own journey and as I continually think of relating to my clients, and what I hear them say as they have similar struggles. And what I have learned is to try to apply my new word, or value, that I have come to embrace, which is CREATIVE!


As some of you know, the basis of my coaching is grounded in core values. It's an exercise that I feel is an important step in finding out who we are under the layers of responsibilities and titles, and unconscious and conscious ways we've adjusted in relationships. And this an exercise that I also did several years ago and it has really helped me in my own journey back to myself. But interestingly, creative or creativity- was not one of my core values.


Initially, I had thought of creativity as being crafty, a painter, a musician-anything "artsy". And all of these are pretty much a "no" for me. BUT, as I have come to another level of growth (eye-rolling), and trying to stretch myself to really bring even more of myself into my relationships and work, I have had to be OPEN TO POSSIBILITIES. Over and over again, in the last few months every time I practice being open, not falling back on my usual thought patterns, I have become almost amazed at the ideas that roll in. And really in a sense this has taken a lot of courage (referring back to the quote in the pic) because it is HARD to change things up! For real!


But when I practice being open to possibilities--whether through something I read, something someone says, or a new way in how my brain processes things, suddenly I pause and think: "wow, I hadn't thought of that before; I hadn't seen it that way..." And suddenly--guess what? I have been feeling creative! And after this word and feeling kept coming to me, I was like--I think "creative" is a core value of mine that I hadn't realized before. And I started realizing how, yes--when I am in a creative mode, I am more myself! So again, this is not to say I'm suddenly feeling "artsy"- although that can be for some people. But for me I think being creative is BEING OPEN TO POSSIBILITIES! And that to me is the definition of creative.


So how does being creative fit into the start of this conversation about perfection and happiness, and courage and self?? Well, whatever or however you define your core values, I do think we have the capacity to train ourselves to be more open to what is possible. And when we can be (more) open to what is possible, then I think we can gain even a glimmer of courage that will propel ourselves even more to our true selves-- and away from that pull of perfection....


When we get a glimpse of what is possible, there's a sense of excitement, albeit maybe some (good) nervousness too, that can really motivate us to do the thing we need to do; to have courage to do the thing we need to do. Or to take that step, to have that conversation, to make that change...And then....wow, when I do this, happiness does come over me...And I do believe it's because I've had the courage to be more...me...


Are you feeling like you want to go on this journey of finding more courage, more happiness, more--you? E-mail me, I'd love to talk about it with you! wholefullyou@gmail.com

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