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  • Clara Mei

The Complaining Detox: What I learned...

No, this "detox" is not the usual "green smoothie/eat everything clean" detox that the picture would make you think. Although I really loved the image- filled with great looking fruits and a rainbow of colors! But I digress- this "detox" is about learning how to "clean your thinking"...

Oh boy! I learned about this a few weeks before the holidays, in a great program with Patty Lennon ( and it has thrown me for a loop! I never would have imagined that it would be the key to productivity and self-acceptance! I mean really, I could list this strategy as “THE end all be all” like those late-night infomercials persuade you about the latest gadget or vitamin you MUST take! And it might be that I was just ready for this particular “detox” but oh my goodness!

So, what is a “complaining detox?” So, super glad you asked! Well, first of all—here are the “rules”:

1) You are absolutely allowed to feel and have your feelings about whatever it is that is bugging you, frustrating you, hurting you—THROW THAT PITY PARTY! Allow those feelings to come to the surface in a mostly adult-ish way if possible. Talk to yourself, pray, call a friend. Do not deny that you are having the “stuff”!

2) You have to ask yourself: “what is the worst part about this?” And then, “and what’s the worst part about that?” Keep asking yourself, what’s the worst part- until you really can’t get any deeper. And then BINGO you have the "WHY is this person, this thing, this situation bothering or frustrating or hurting me so much?"

3) Now the magic begins: “what are YOU going to do about it?” “What are you going to say, do, change, adjust….?” The answer very truly may NOT be easy, but it will be enlightening. And you may need help feeling like you have the ability to go through with what YOU need to do, to change the situation or change your approach. BUT- now YOU have the power!

The magic of the complaining detox is that is transforms the power of the issue coming from the person or the situation to YOU! It’s also important to recognize that the complaining detox is NOT about you just “being positive”! It is about you acknowledging that something is bothering you, and then DOING, SAYING or CHANGING something, even if just in perspective and/or attitude! And, ladies and gentlemen that is where transformation happens!

Since doing this, I rarely complain about housework, for example, anymore. I either do it or I don’t. Or I enlist someone else to do it. And I've realized my goal is to hire someone else to do it all together anyway—or at least the deep cleaning stuff. Truly it's amazing that I no longer feel overwhelmed about it and I certainly don’t “complain” about it! I own my choices, I own my decisions, and I own my own perspective about it too…Now that's a somewhat simplified version of the "detox's" impact on me personally- but for now I thought I'd keep my results short and sweet!

Do you need help figuring this out? Oh, I am telling you, you won't regret it! I’d love to help! Send me an e-mail!

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