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  • Clara Mei

"What" and "How": The two most important part of your "voice!"

Whether we are talking with our children, our spouses or other family members, or to our bosses or in a public forum--the two most important parts for us to remember when trying to make sure our voices are heard are "what" we are trying to say and "how" we are saying it.

The "what" refers to the content of the message we are trying to convey--the substance of it all. The "how" refers to the way in which we talk. Both aspects really deserve some introspection and preparation. First- the "what" must be as a defined as possible--try and stick to 1 or 2, at the most 3 points when you are talking. As women, I think lots of times we try and stick in a bunch of "ands" and "buts"-when really we just need to be clear about one or two specific points. This takes some refining and reflection on what is the most important thing to say in that moment.

Now to the "how"---tricky, tricky! When we talk- the best, most important thing to do is to come from a place of centeredness. It is being centered that gives us the strength to talk and gives power to the message we are trying to convey. Think about all those times when someone speaks from a place of anger, frustration, or confusion...Did your message get washed away or ignored? Or how about when someone else spoke you like that--did you really remember what they said?? When we speak from a place that is not centered--what happens is that the listener focuses on the behavior or even how the speaker made them feel rather than the message at hand. It really becomes important to reflect on the "how" we speak. If we are feeling angry or frustrated before speaking we need to do the work to ask ourselves- "why am I feeling this way?" Once we do the work to figure this out, then we can center ourselves in our message and our voice will be much stronger--not necessarily louder--but much clearer.

Does any of this resonate with you? Do you need help sorting through your "what" and "how" and maybe some of the "why" too? Going through this can feel a bit intimidating and maybe uncomfortable as you start to think through how best to use your voice in various settings- whether with your children, husband, or your boss-- and I can help you feel more prepared and stronger when you speak about domestic responsibilities or work challenges. Send me an e-mail and let's talk! :)

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