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  • Clara Mei

What part of yourself are you rejecting?

A few blog posts ago, I discussed which self is getting into the train first- or something clever like that ;) ...Today what comes to mind is, which part of your self- not your identity self (like being a mom, wife, military spouse, etc...) but within your Original Self or OS we'll call it (sounds cooler ;) ), what part are you not allowing in? ....Just like the picture of this moon, where the clouds are preventing it from fully shining through, we often reject parts of our self from fully shining through too....

Are you rejecting your fun, playful self in because maybe there's no time for that part of you? Are you rejecting your free-spirited, care-free self because you need to be responsible? Are you rejecting your sleepy, tired self because there's no time for rest? Or what about the part of your OS that wants to do something for you- but others, in your family or community, have more important needs than you?

Or maybe what's happened, is that you have negatively labeled these parts of your self- or maybe someone else labeled these parts of you, or you heard someone else judge someone who exhibited these qualities. So that fun, playful self is labeled as "irresponsible"; free-spirited became "weird" or an "outcast"; your tired/sleepy self is thought of as "lazy"; and the part of you that wants or needs to do something for yourself instead of others is just plain "selfish"...

Have these labels caused you to reject parts of your OS that really your soul is telling you that you need to let back in your life? Labels, really can be quite damaging because they somehow justify or deem the quality or behavior as "bad"--and because none of us want to be "bad"- we somehow shun the part of us that acts "bad"...But really it is just self expression. Expression of the soul, expression of the body. And if it is expression of true self then I believe that expression is coming from a place of love, for self and others.

When we view it this way, for example, then your true self really doesn't want to always sleep; your true self probably desires some boundaries in its free-spirited expression; and your true self probably wants to be productive sometimes and doesn't always need to do fun, care-free things. And your true self also does enjoy doing things for others and doesn't always need to just think and do just for the self.

For some people I might be stating the obvious, and it's probably something you've heard before. It sort of sounds like the next thing I'm going to suggest is: "balance, balance...yada, yada, yada..."

But really what I'm asking you to do, is to be aware of the "why" you decide to do or not do any of the above (or another part) of self expression or a need or desire of the OS. IF you are deciding NOT to take that nap because it means you're "lazy" or deciding not to have an unplanned day because that means you're being "unproductive" or "selfish" then that means you're coming from what I believe is a place of fear-fear of being labeled in any of these ways.

And yeah, that really doesn't feel so good. So we often give in to that voice that doesn't want the "bad" label. But then when we act on these thoughts we actually create a double blow to self. First we are coming from a place of fear- or denial of self, AND then we wind up expending EXTRA energy we really don't have to do something we really don't want to! And then--we become more tired, more resentful and more restricted... "So what's next then, Clara?" Well, I'm glad you asked! :)

First, as I mentioned- when you feel an initial resistance to do the thing your true self is asking, ask "why?" Why am I not allowing myself to take the nap? Why am I not allowing myself to spend the extra money? Why am I not allowing myself to go have a fun day? Why am I not allowing myself to wear that outfit I really like?

Second, if when you think of the "why" a "bad" label comes to mind, pause before making the decision. Pause before you act. Pause before you make the phone call or send the text or e-mail. Take a deep breath. And ask: "what do I need right now?" And then if what you need is in conflict with what you think the "bad" label is telling you, you should do--question it! For example, "Am I really being lazy by taking a rest?" And then come up with a counteractive statement to the "label", like: "It is okay to rest. I am not being lazy by taking a rest."

Three, be aware of your brain's tendency to NOT believe the positive statement! It's okay, even if your brain doesn't believe it, your soul KNOWS! And if your soul knows, then it IS a reflection of true self. And the outcome of taking the nap, taking a day for yourself, wearing that outfit will be SUCH a reward that if you PRACTICE listening to your Original Self- your OS, and not the "bad" label, you will find...YES, that "balance" IS possible--at least on more days than before...

So, are you ready to throw that label to curb?! C'mon OS! I dare you! Give it a try! And let me know how it goes!

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