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  • Clara Mei

Switching gears: How easy is it for you to go from "do-er" to an "ask-er"??

Updated: Feb 26, 2020

How easy is it for you to ask for what you want or need?? I've recently been on a bit of journey with this myself and it's actually been harder than I thought trying to do this!

How about you? How easy is it for you to ask for something? What do you feel when you do ask? My goodness readers, I'm realizing the capacity to ask can feel really loaded for many. And I think this is because we are unconsciously and consciously trained to be "do-ers" (as I mention in my last blog) and when we switch gears and become the person who "asks" there can be a judgement about why we then aren't doing the "doing"? Or maybe why is it that we need help when we "should" be able to do it all. Or if we are simply just "wanting" something--why can there a be bit of guilt mixed it?? Guilt of spending money if we are at a stage in life when we don't work/bring money into the household. Guilt of wanting time to ourselves when we are supposed to want to be with our lovely children and husband all the time. Even--guilt of paying for that self development, skill boosting class or course when what we "really use it for"...

So who do we feel we need to justify our "asks" to? Is it our parents, our husbands, our children--or ourselves...Do we think it's others we need to justify ourselves to when really it's because we have developed- or rather grown to develop this self image ourselves?? Have we allowed for the image of other mothers and women that we see in society and modeled in our families, to be the foundation of the image we can create for ourselves?? We are here to be who we are meant to be in this life and when asking for what we need or want prevents us from being that, we really need to pause and look at that reality--our SELF depends on it!

Does any of this resonate with you? Do you need help figuring out your struggle in being able to ask for what you need or want? The struggle is real, but it is such an important challenge to work through. Like any change, it can feel super uncomfortable at first (totally normal, by the way), but it does get easier and hey- your family will thank you! They might even say: "Well if you had just told me that you needed me to do 'X' or you wanted to do 'Y' then this would have been so much easier?" E-mail me to find out how best to tackle "The Ask"!

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